When I was slow dancing to that Spice Girls classic at the end of a school disco,* I didn’t expect it to be the title of an article about getting past a breakup. But, it is. After ten years together and approaching seven years of marriage, me and TJ’s dad decided to stop right now and go our separate ways.
Stop right now
It’s wasn’t an easy decision, of course. Getting past a breakup of marriage meant that we had a lot to consider. TJ, finances, where we would both live and, somewhere on that list, was the emotions that would inevitably come along with it all. But, I think we both realised that viva forever it wasn’t. It was best for us to say we will be there as friends, co-parents and partners in crime if nothing else.
After much fussing over selling our house, flat hunting, mortgages and money, it finally happened. Places were picked and solicitors did their thing. I moved back home to Hampshire as I wannabe near my family and the craziest of my friends. TJ’s dad stayed in Surrey to be near his support network too – which I hoped would help him with getting past a breakup too.
The little man who calls me mama (every five seconds) splits his time between us two. This hopefully provides a good balance for both of us adults as we found ourselves back in singledom. Without any doubt, the thought of not seeing TJ every day completely breaks me apart. It took me a long time to be able to properly talk about it in real life too. It was and continues to be undoubtedly the toughest, and almost impossible, part of getting past a breakup. But, I hope that our days apart develop his relationship with his dad and give me time to find out who I think I am again. And to do some housework … maybe.
Goodbye, my friend
So, it was goodbye my friend to the man I met whilst standing on a chair showing off my bum in an East London bar. And, it became time to focus on getting past a breakup and moving on to a new chapter for all three of us to spice up our lives where it’s been lacking. But, I’m still here for him whenever you holler.
*Disclaimer – This didn’t actually happen as I was not a cool kid in school.
Also, I’ve referenced ten Spice Girls songs here. You’re welcome.